Wise says the therapist sat them down and instructed them to speak to one another using “I feel” statements. ![]() “I feel” statements Mary and Jason began using active listening regularly to prevent heated arguments. Wise says he taught them about “ active listening,” a communication method that requires each person in a relationship to fully focus on, understand, and repeat back what the other partner is saying. The couple, who met in 1997 and married in 2000, began seeing a marriage counselor in 2013. “I just kept feeling like I can’t keep living like this, and it had to do with me not being able to say what I felt like I needed to say in our relationship, and it had to do with feeling as though he wasn’t able to hear it, and I also wasn’t able to hear him,” Wise tells NBC News BETTER. Learn more about USIP’s resources for students and educators.The pair loved each other, and their fights were never physical, says Wise, a writer who blogs regularly about relationships on - but she says the marriage had become dysfunctional.
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